Korea update: Fuck the state of Texas

One of the things required for me to go to Korea is to obtain a notarized state level background check. Feel free to scroll to the last line of this entry for the summary.

In June, I went to the police department office on campus because it was closest. They directed me to the office downtown; they directed me to their records department; they directed me to the DPS. I didn't have any cash or check or patience to wait in the line out the door at the DPS. So I called to find out how much the background check would cost. Denton DPS cannot give me a state level background check (contrary to what the Denton P.D. told me because they obviously have their shit together); they directed me to the Garland office. There's no way I'm driving out there without calling. I call the Garland office and find there is no way whatsoever to reach a human person at that office by telephone. There are a dozen button push options, none of which have anything to do with a background check.

Back to the internet. The DPS Web site says I can obtain a state level background check by mailing $10, my name, age, race, etc. to the Austin office. I sent that out June 23. They sent it back about 2 weeks later, telling me I needed to send an additional $5 and fingerprints, contrary to the information on the Web site because they obviously have their shit together. I did this. They sent it back to me a second time, another 2 weeks later, with the problem that my signatures did not match. I wrote my name in cursive on my written request so it would be clear I was requesting a b.c. for myself. I signed the fingerprint cards in the space labeled "Signature." Whatever. So I fixed it and sent it in again. Last week the DPS sent it back a THIRD time, claiming my fingerprints were too dark and not rolled well enough. Bullfuckingshit. I had a friend experienced in taking fingerprints for his major do the prints for me. And the DPS could not have told me there was a problem with the prints the FIRST time they were sent back to me? My guess is that they ran them and didn't find anything because my record is CLEAN and so they decided it must be my fault.

I called the Crime Records Department of the DPS to find out where I can go locally to get this done in person because my sister in Utah was able to go downtown and get a b.c. in about 15 minutes. You can't get it done in person in the state of Texas, contrary to what Denton DPS told me because they obviously have their shit together. They directed me to the number for a third party agency that assists in DPS b.c.'s. I called the number last Thursday and they can't get me in until tomorrow in the Lewisville office to get this done. 7-10 business days after that, I will receive my b.c. in the mail. It will take 2-3 weeks after that to mail it to the Sec. of State office for an apostille certification so I can send it overseas to the school at which I will be teaching.

In summation, I'm stuck here until October. Fuckity fucking fuckers. Fuck.

Learning the language

Speaking Korean is not a prerequisite for teaching English in Korea. Some people pick it up after they live there, bring a phrases book, or take classes once they realize how tough living in a country where they don't speak the language is. From what I gather, the children I'll be teaching might be the only translators available. But I am going to live there for a year and have no desire to feel helpless, lost, and afraid of what's on the menu every time I'm hungry.

So I found this spiffy Web site, Livemocha.com, which offers free language lessons and is also a social networking site so you can get help from native speakers and offer assistance to others. It offers writing, reading, and speaking lessons. I now know FIVE whole words of Korean (man, woman, girl, boy, and hello) and can almost write them, too. Learning a new language is easy until you add in the completely new alphabet. It takes two symbols to express single words. Yikes. I can't wait to learn how not to order fish in Korean! Check it out and add me; my username is themonbelly.

***As of December 2009, Livemocha hasn't helped me learn shit as far as Korean goes. It's very helpful for learning Spanish and brushing up on my French, though. I prefer this site for learning the alphabet and have been taking free lessons near the Sookmyung Women's University station Saturdays 4-5:30.***

I'm going to teach English in Korea!

In September! Granted, I have a lot of documents to gather first. And figuring out what to do about my lease. And storage. And finding a job between now and then.

But it's going to be AMAZING!

Here's the site with the info.

No, I don't speak Korean because that's not one of the job requirements. But I'll learn.

And think of all the cool, unlicensed crappy crap I can send home.

I'm bouncing off the walls on the inside. :0)