One of the things required for me to go to Korea is to obtain a notarized state level background check. Feel free to scroll to the last line of this entry for the summary.
In June, I went to the police department office on campus because it was closest. They directed me to the office downtown; they directed me to their records department; they directed me to the DPS. I didn't have any cash or check or patience to wait in the line out the door at the DPS. So I called to find out how much the background check would cost. Denton DPS cannot give me a state level background check (contrary to what the Denton P.D. told me because they obviously have their shit together); they directed me to the Garland office. There's no way I'm driving out there without calling. I call the Garland office and find there is no way whatsoever to reach a human person at that office by telephone. There are a dozen button push options, none of which have anything to do with a background check.
Back to the internet. The DPS Web site says I can obtain a state level background check by mailing $10, my name, age, race, etc. to the Austin office. I sent that out June 23. They sent it back about 2 weeks later, telling me I needed to send an additional $5 and fingerprints, contrary to the information on the Web site because they obviously have their shit together. I did this. They sent it back to me a second time, another 2 weeks later, with the problem that my signatures did not match. I wrote my name in cursive on my written request so it would be clear I was requesting a b.c. for myself. I signed the fingerprint cards in the space labeled "Signature." Whatever. So I fixed it and sent it in again. Last week the DPS sent it back a THIRD time, claiming my fingerprints were too dark and not rolled well enough. Bullfuckingshit. I had a friend experienced in taking fingerprints for his major do the prints for me. And the DPS could not have told me there was a problem with the prints the FIRST time they were sent back to me? My guess is that they ran them and didn't find anything because my record is CLEAN and so they decided it must be my fault.
I called the Crime Records Department of the DPS to find out where I can go locally to get this done in person because my sister in Utah was able to go downtown and get a b.c. in about 15 minutes. You can't get it done in person in the state of Texas, contrary to what Denton DPS told me because they obviously have their shit together. They directed me to the number for a third party agency that assists in DPS b.c.'s. I called the number last Thursday and they can't get me in until tomorrow in the Lewisville office to get this done. 7-10 business days after that, I will receive my b.c. in the mail. It will take 2-3 weeks after that to mail it to the Sec. of State office for an apostille certification so I can send it overseas to the school at which I will be teaching.
In summation, I'm stuck here until October. Fuckity fucking fuckers. Fuck.