Thursday, September 30, 2010

Miscellaneous absurdity

I wore a low-cut top to school once. I was sitting in a chair when one of my kindergarteners came to check it out, looking down my blouse and poking me, which I'm kind of used to and don't react lest I encourage them.
She said to me, "Teacher, you this (pointing at my chest) is big."
I nodded, "Yes." What else can I say?
"Teacher, why?"
"Because God made me that way."
She giggled and asked, "What you? 32?"
"No, what?"
She spouted a few more numbers as my eyes got very big and I wondered how to end this line of questioning.
"Oh, you want to know how old I am? I'm 24 years old."
She gave up and left me alone.
Kindergarteners. Sheesh.

One of my pre-k classes drew lovely self-portraits, but Joey drew his with pigtails and a pretty pink bow atop his head. Wow, Joey. So beautiful.

A first-grader complained that the classroom was too hot. I was comfortable and didn't feel like turning on the fan or opening the window, so I told him to take off his jacket. He looked very confused, so I unzipped it for him. Then he looked down and giggled. Anywhere else in the world, I'd go to jail for undressing students.

And my favorite incident was in the playroom for "gym time" with my 4-year-olds. One crawled up the slide to kiss me on the nose and shocked me. Then she gave me a dirty look as if the static electricity were my fault. Priceless.

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