Can't wait for Christmas

Manhattan's is having a Christmas Eve party, so that's my plan for tomorrow after work. Hopefully a lot of foriegners will decide to come. Hopefully I won't run into the ex there.

A teacher I work with gave me directions to the nearest Catholic Church so I can go to mass on Christmas at 10 a.m. (10 a.m.? Koreans make for lazy Catholics. No midnight mass, no 8 a.m. masses. On Sundays, the earliest is 11 a.m.) No English masses, though. It's a good bit of a walk, maybe 20-30 minutes, but it's forecast to be a whole 41F with a 30% chance of snow. I've seen lots of snow on every 20% day so far, so I'm looking forward to a white Christmas.

Then I have some down time for a few hours, and I plan to go ice skating around 3 at Gwanghwamun to work up an appetite, Christmas dinner at 6 at Suji's in Itaewon with turkey, eggnog and pie. I have been missing pie so much since I got here! I actually made my first batch of homemade eggnog last night. Thanks to a poorly written recipe, I overcooked the first batch, but I modified the recipe and the second turned out very yummy.

Mix 2 eggs, 1/3 cup sugar, 2 cups of milk on low heat for 5-10 minutes while stirring. Chill (optional), add in 2/3 cup whipping cream and dashes of cinnamon, clove powder, and nutmeg to taste. Optional- tsp vanilla or rum extract. And yes, I found all the ingredients right here in Korea! I rock. And I bought WAY to much whipping cream, so I guess I'll just have to make more.

After dinner I may go back to Gwanghwamun for the lights show and holiday exhibits or chill at a coffee shop or something in Itaewon.

I wanted everyone to know I will not be sitting at home all alone for Christmas, and I will tell you how it all turns out.

The Nutcracker

Yesterday I saw The Nutcracker performed by the Korean National Ballet at The Seoul Arts Center.

I left a little before 1 to get to the train station, and even in a knee-length dress, ankle boots, and stockings, I can tell you the snow falling and covering Ansan was quite lovely. I took line 4 to Sadang and transferred to line 2 easily enough to Seocho. The map I had showed the SAC about two blocks straight from exit 3. IRL it's closer to a mile, and halfway through that mile I realized I should have taken a taxi, but I was already halfway there and determined to make it on foot.

The folks at the box office spoke English and were very helpful in helping me choose a seat and buy a ticket. 30,000 won put me on the second row, middle of the second balcony. Should I decide to return, I'll definitely spring for opera glasses and a pricier seat. Programs were only 5,000 won. Yay!

In the theater lobby, there were four orchestra members playing Christmas carols and a man dressed as a 7- or 8-foot toy soldier posing for photos with everyone. The festive spirit boosted my excitement. I've seen The Nutcracker ballet live once as a child and watched it on TV every single year around Christmastime until I moved out. So I was very confused at intermission when I heard a lady behind me explaining to the plot to 6 of her baffled American friends. I had no idea people in the world could be unfamiliar with this masterpiece.

I was so thrilled to be going and wanted nothing more than to enjoy the hell out of the KNB, but this was not to be.

The orchestra was very good, aside from some weird acoustics at the very beginning. The young boy playing The Nutcracker toy in the beginning was hilarious and made everybody laugh. And Jung Young-Jae as the Prince was a fine male specimen, so good, in fact, that he neatly upstaged Marie (not that I'm complaining, mind you, but it is bad form). And that's everything nice I have to say.

Were this North Korea, four of the dancers would be taken out back and shot, along with the choreographer, set designer, and the interpreter/writer. The sets were distractingly cheap with lazy modern art probably designed by a 6-year-old, complete with Escher-esque stairs on the ceiling. Wtf? The Indian dancer had notably wobbly legs more than once. I understand that they probably haven't eaten in a month, but she and three others really made it look like work with noticeably stuttering movements.

As for the choreographer, do you just hate Tchaichovsky or what? Yuri Grigorovich is an acclaimed Russian choreographer and any scene with a dozen or more dancers on stage or just Marie and the Prince is lovely, but the duets of the foreign dancers leave something to be desired. He consistently fails to use the music to its full potential, failing to capture the full emotional depth and grandeur displayed in the score.

And to the writer, what a bizarro re-imagining of a 107-year-old ballet. For anyone unfamiliar, Wikipedia has a good, short synopsis. And the link above has the KNB's freakish version, replete with poised wives carrying their drunk husbands home after the party. Oh how very Korean. And the foreign dancers of the Land of Sweets have become "human-like dolls" that totter along awkwardly stiff-limbed, following Marie and the Prince all over, bearing little resemblance to the fine dancers they are in every other version. You're not supposed to know Marie's time with the Prince is a dream until she wakes, but the program spoils this for you from the outset! Gah.

Dear Korean audiences, "Woo"ing at the performers during applause is NOT APPROPRIATE THEATER BEHAVIOR! Geez, louise. Nor is clapping in time with the orchestra while the performers are bowing. I can name many a-teacher who, over the years, would not have hesitated to smack his or her students for such behavior. Thank you, Plano I.S.D.

It's playing through Thursday at the SAC and a few other places around town listed here. If you're a fan of ballet, pass on this one, but if you've never had the pleasure, I'm sure you'll enjoy it.

My first dedicated blog

I've been Xangaing, Facebooking, MySpacing, and LJing for years, so it seemed silly to add another blog. But I enjoy browsing other expats' Korea-dedicated blogs too much to go any longer without one of my own.

The blog title "Sarcasm doesn't translate," sums up my life experiences on the internet; my mouth is always getting me into trouble because I can't seem to turn off the snark. And now I'm in a brand new country where I can't even speak the language, much less express my amusement at every situation.

On to the basics:

Where are you from? How old are you? Why did you come to Korea? What's your blood type? Do you have a boyfriend? What do you like to eat? What are your hobbies?

Denton, Texas. And yes, I tell everyone I ride horses and wear cowboy boots to formal occasions, except Christmas. We wear flip-flops for Christmas because it never gets cold. (Not sarcasm, in fact. I bought my first ever heavy winter coat only a year ago because a store was going out of business and this green fleece and down number was just my size at just $17.)

I'm a 23-year-old 2008 graduate from U. of North Texas' journalism program. After being laid off from three jobs in a row because of the economy being the way it was and not even being able to pick up a job at a freaking gas station with my handy dandy BA, I got an email from a recruiting company that saw my resume online. I would have dismissed it out of hand, but I mentioned it to my friend, Nick, who looked into it more and decided, "Let's do this." Thanks to footprintsrecruiting.com, I am now an English teacher in Korea. Nick's heading over in February.

I'm B+, which is supposed to mean I'm an outgoing player and men's lady (doesn't sound as cool as ladies' man, huh?), as does being a Leo. But you'd never guess it. I'm pretty quiet and am still struggling to make friends out here all by my lonesome. But that's OK.

I did have a Korean boyfriend for about a week, but that went south yesterday. I don't think I'll be seeing him again, but I haven't decided how to tell him that. I would thank him for being instrumental in my decision to become a shut-in for the remainder of winter and possibly even gay for the remainder of my stay in Korea, but that would be rude because I'm not being sarcastic this time.

I never would have admitted to liking American food before today. I hate fried food and greasy food and the salt-laden fatty foods that abound in the south. Mexican and Italian were my favorites. But when I decided earlier this evening to treat myself to an American grill & salad place, I walked right on by, unable to ignore the call of a "Giant Double Burger Set (Combo)" from the Lotteria (like a McDonald's). And holy crap, it was delicious.

Before the 20-hour flight here, my hobbies included belly dance, fire spinning, larping, and making various arts and crafts. Since I arrived, well, I've found that curling up in my warm bed and reading a book is about the most fun I can probably have in the winter. I kind of doubt my ability to find a venue for my favorite activities.

I'm staying in Ansan, which is about an hour south of Seoul by subway. This week has averaged about 20F every day, and my utilities bill is too high, so I've decided to forsake my heater (no small feat for a native Texan) in favor of more clothing and short spurts of exercise when I feel chilly.

Let me know if I've forgotten anything or if there's anything more you'd like to know. Let's end with a question.

Why doesn't Korea use postal codes? It's SO un-American. I want my books from Amazon, darn it!

Santacon Seoul 2009

At Hongdae station

Check out that bathroom sign!

Tracie and Me

Sexy Bubi Bubi Party?!

Yes, pole-dancing Santas.

Payday

Posterity, Pt3

MP can't wait to start taking free Korean lessons on Saturday. :)
December 1 at 7:47pm


MP DId you know Hagen Daaz goes for $16/qt in Korea?
December 3 at 6:46am


MP really needs a massage but doesn't know where to get one without a happy ending.
December 4 at 8:35am


MP SNOW!
December 4 at 8:58pm


MP stuffed herself on barbeque and got good and drunk for <$15, including subway fare!
December 5 at 8:31am 


MP is trying to psych herself up to go out today in the subfreezing weather because the sun is just so pretty today for pictures.
December 5 at 9:13pm


MP I was undecided on seeing Ninja Assassin. This is no longer the case.
Rain poses for Allure

(How do I make this smaller?)
December 6 at 6:42am


MP is torn between the urge to hibernate and the desire to exercise.
December 7 at 8:48pm


MP feels like a wussy girl because she's out of shape and easily maxing out on a 5kg dumbbell. Fortunately that's incentive enough to keep at it so I have to buy respectable weights before long.
December 7 at 8:56pm


MP can't wait for spring so she can try barefoot running.
December 9 at 8:42am


MP shakin' her hips like nunchucks.
December 9 at 9:02am


MP 's spirit roommate has decided that knocking shit over in the kitchen, repeatedly, is a fun new game.
December 9 at 9:21am


MP heard through the wall this morning her smoker neighbor cough up a lung. It sounded JUST like Ferris Bueller's keyboard. I am thoroughly disgusted.
December 9 at 7:55pm


MP How do you decide when your abdominal pain is bad enough to see a doctor?
December 10 at 5:19am


MP I freaking LOVE this bar!
December 11 at 10:33am


MP could write a book about the ways Korea makes her stomach hurt.
December 12 at 7:45pm


MP might have a Korean boyfriend.
December 13 at 7:28am


MP has decided to marry an Australian. Their accents are music to my ears unlike any other. I haven't got one picked out yet, but that's a minor detail. I dreamt of one last night and I quite like him- fella really swept me off my feet. *dreamy sigh*
December 14 at 6:46pm


MP totally saw the Samoan guy from "The Italian Job" today, or someone who sure looked like him. It was awesome. :0)
December 15 at 7:06am


MP is a millionare. Yay payday.
December 16 at 6:34am

Plumbing 101-2

I learned today why my kitchen has smelled increasingly strongly of feces and why the sink doesn't drain. Finally fed up with the smell, I crawled underneath and started taking things apart, when what to my wondering eyes should appear? But a *expletive* sponge shoved down the tubes, long collecting food matter to rot upon and in it in my sink. Who the *string of expletives* shoves a sponge down a drain? *Rage* What to do for the lingering smell?

Now if only I could solve the problem of the toilet. I told my boss last week it wasn't working no matter how I tried the plunger. He said he'd call my landlord, they'd come up while I was at work, and they'd fix it. I don't know about the first two, but the third on that list never happened. I've been going down seven floors to the public restroom on the main floor to take care of business.

The problem is when I flush, the bowl fills and fills and fills until I managed to Macgyver a spatula, a piece of string, and a bobby pin to stop the water flow. And if I walk away, the water will slowly drain, but there is no suction for anything else that goes in a toilet bowl. Directly adjacent to the main draining hole in the bowl is a hole that fills the bowl with water, creating a shape that negates the efficacy of a plunger. I have tried every combination of lever, stopper, and floater manipulation in the tank with no success.

I've never met a toilet I couldn't fix in the states and am so close to rage-quitting this country for its shitty (pun intended) plumbing. Argh!